When Birth Feels Scary


You’ve been planning for this day for months, maybe even years. You’ve read all the books, taken the classes, written The Birth Plan and carefully selected your care provider.

You can play it out in your head moment by moment.

Your ideal birth.

For everyone, it looks different, but you envision yourself as confident, secure, and supported by your team. Your partner knows exactly what to say and do and it’s beautiful. A masterpiece.  Absolute perfection.

And for doulas, this is how we hope it goes for everyone. We support your vision, no matter what it looks like. But sometimes…just sometimes…

Shit hits the fan.

It’s part of being human. Birth, while a natural function, has the possibility to go downhill. And before you know it, it’s scary, and fast, and blurry, and all the things that weren’t supposed to be a part of The Plan are arriving entirely uninvited.

Can you always prevent it? No. Sometimes, it just happens. And it sucks. But what you can do is have a compassionate, educated, and experienced doula on your team.

When shit hits the fan, she is ready. She’s prepared. She’s committed to hold your hand every step of the way.

She’ll explain things. She’ll go get the nurse again if you feel like you didn’t quite understand what was said. She’ll remind you to breathe. To look her in the eyes and help you feel grounded. She’ll whisper words of encouragement and remind you of the incredible strength you have within. She’ll be the calm in the storm to walk beside you and to do whatever you need when birth feels scary.

This is the part of birth we don’t always like to think or talk about. Your doula can’t prevent the scary moments, but she can walk you through it with compassion, understanding, reassurance, and a calming presence.

So while we often think of having doulas around to help make The Plan happen seamlessly, sometimes a doula is there to support you through those unexpected moments.

If you had an unexpected labor experience, how did your doula help you get through it?

Authored by: Lacey Bauer

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