We hear this a lot: “I want to breastfeed, but my partner wants to know how they’ll be able to bond with the baby if they can’t feed them.”
This implies that feeding your baby is the only way to bond with your baby. Let me be clear, breastfeeding is an incredible bonding experience, and it’s understandable why your partner could potentially feel left out, however we want dads and partners to understand that there are other creative ways to bond with their baby. So, here is a list of ways for dads & partners to feel that close bond with their baby while also supporting the breastfeeding relationship between mom & baby.
1. Skin to Skin
Skin to skin time can be a wonderful way to bond with your baby. After baby has fed, remove your shirt and spend some one on one time staring into your little ones eyes. It’s not uncommon for moms to feel “touched out” at some point so, this is a great opportunity for the partner to step in, give mom a much needed break, and allow baby to still feel secure.
2. Nighttime Care
It’s the middle of the night and baby is crying. So you get up, go get baby, and immediately want to pass them off to mom because “they must be hungry”, right? Spend a few minutes to see if maybe he or she is awake for a reason other than hunger. Change their diaper, see if a few minutes of snuggles in the rocker helps them to fall back asleep, or give them a pacifier if you’re using one. This can be a great bonding time for you and baby and also allow mom to sleep a little longer. And if they do start to show signs of hunger, then you know you’ve already saved mom some work by taking care of everything else.
3. Care for Parnter
One of the best ways you can bond with your baby while also supporting the breastfeeding relationship is through some basic care of the breastfeeding parent! Be sure they have their supplies nearby (a diaper basket, the boppy, some snacks, full water bottle, etc). By eliminating the need for them to get up and down for things, you will aid in their postpartum healing time and also make them feel confident and comfortable. Breastfeeding isn’t always glamorous, so a little pampering can go a long way (hint, foot rub). By loving your partner, you are showing them how much you love your child and value their breastfeeding relationship.
4. Bedtime Routine
The nightly bedtime routine can be a great way for you to spend some special time with your little one while also giving mom a break to shower, eat, or get a bit of alone time. The routine can include some fun bath time, reading of a book, and even singing some lullabies. Make it special and get creative!
5. Babywearing
We can tell you, many women think there’s nothing hotter than a partner who babywears. *wink* When you’re out and about, offer to give mom a break by busting out the carrier and spending some time wearing your sweet little one! Not only does this help mom feel like she has a little time to breathe (remember that “touched out” feeling we mentioned above?), but this gives you the chance to spend some face-to-face time with your baby! There are many benefits of babywearing, so you’ll know that you are playing a crucial part in your baby’s development all while spending some quality time with them! Talk about an amazing way to bond with your baby!
As you can see, there are many ways in which you can support the breastfeeding relationship while still bonding with your baby. The two are by no means mutually exclusive! By supporting your partner, you’ll help her to feel confident, cared for, and ready to keep going on this breastfeeding journey! The more support she has, the longer she breastfeed. And moms…COMMUNICATION is key. Without expressing ways in which your partner can specifically help you out, they may not know what you need. This new journey takes time to navigate so have patience and communicate well with each other.
Authored by: Lacey Bauer